Boy...

...it's Time You Learn the Value of a Dollar

He's a workin' man now. For a whopping $1.00 a week, he helps take out the trash and takes the dog for a daily walk. He couldn't be more thrilled! It was cute and sad all at once when he started naming the things he was going to buy with his money. I'd better not spend too much time on this post or I'm going to end up giving my son a pity raise (only Mamas are allowed to give those!).

Strike a Pose

I can't help it. My camera screams at me to pick it up whenever Lyla is near a window. Can you blame me?

My sweet baby is now 18 months old. I can't begin to tell you how much fun she is! I feel so blessed to have both boys and girls because I get to observe the similarities and differences between the two. This girl can carry a doll in one hand and wrestle with her brothers with the other hand. She has her very own language. A tonal babble. The only way I can decipher what she wants is by her tone. She has recently picked up the habit of licking things. Not quite sure what's going on there. Doll eyeballs? Yes. Little sister eyeballs? Um, No. Juice cup? Yes. Carpet? Not a good idea.

On to Kindergarten!

This last week, my "little Nemo" Josiah graduated preschool. It has been so fun watching him grow and learn. Of course, most of his learning has been at home from his older brother but he did shine in class.

Here is Ms. Kim, J's teacher.

I love that Seth caught this on camera. Eli is always so proud of his siblings. And, of course, Josiah just loves to hug!

He really had so much fun up on stage!

So proud of my JJ!

Phoebe's 1st Days

Seth finally has his little twin. Can you believe how much they look alike?

Sweet oldest brother. He takes this role very seriously.

Big brother J makes sure he gives Phoebe her daily kisses.

Poor Lyla had no idea what to think when we first brought Phoebe home. You could see the utter confusion on her face. After just a few short weeks, she LOVES her "DeDe".

Papa meets Granddaughter #4

Deep down she really was excited to go home. Deep down.

Nana Time

***Not sure how wise it was to proclaim to the world the resurrection of this blog right after baby #4 was born. Seriously? It took me 5 days to finish Phoebe's birth story! So I think for the next bit, I'll blog BLITZ-STYLE. Try to get in as much as I can when I can***

Good day. I said, Good Day.

Deja Vu

Just a mere 18 months ago, I posted the story of my first daughter's birth. What kind of mother would I be if I didn't share my second daughter's birth story with the world? Allow me to introduce to you, Phoebe Analia Macchi...
This is how it all went down: On Sunday, April 25th at

9am- I woke up and checked my blood pressure. It was as high as it had been all week. I called the on-call doctor. He told me to make my way to the hospital. I was in the "safe zone" for delivery at 37 weeks so it was a strong possibility that I would have a baby.

3pm- My father-in-law generously offered to watch the kids while Seth and I made the trek to the hospital. I was finally packed and ready to go. Quite possibly the most relaxed about-to-give-birth journey to the hospital I had ever made. I wasn't in labor and wasn't experiencing any pain. Which was nice.

4pm- Arrived and checked in. They had a room ready for me. I think they were expecting me earlier since I did call at 9 in the morning. Answered a bazillion questions to make me an official patient.

5pm- My super nice nurse who knew my wish to have another VBAC informed me that the doctor was gearing up to have a talk with me about having a C-section. Apparently the normal ways of inducing labor (Cervadil, Pitocin, etc.) are not very safe for someone who has had a previous C-section.

6ishpm- My super nice nurse who was very pro-natural and was a cheerleader to my VBAC wish sat down next to my bed and let me in on a little "secret". She said there was a procedure that could be done on me that would safely induce my labor. Get this. It's done with a balloon! The doctor inserts a Foley catheter into the cervix and slowly inflates the balloon thus causing the cervix to open. When the cervix is dilated to a 5, the balloon automatically falls out. The doctor breaks the water and labor commences. No drugs. SO awesome. When the doctor made his appearance, I was ready to pull out this very valuable information.

7ish- Doctor finally came in. He started right away with the statistics of induced VBACS gone wrong. I listened for a while and interrupted him with "I heard there is a procedure with a balloo...". It stopped him in his tracks and before I could even get "balloon" out of my mouth, he pointed at me and said, "Yes!". Score! I even got a covert thumbs up from super nice nurse as she walked out behind the doctor.

9pm- Doctor came back in and got things rolling...

9pm-3am- There was a lot of grumpiness going on during these hours. I was hungry and could only eat ice chips. I was stuck in the hospital bed and had to stay on my left side because that kept my blood pressure down. Said higher blood pressure caused a slight, totally annoying headache. Oh and did I mention contractions? They were not very strong but I could tell they were working.

3am- I was dilated to 4 but the doctor decided to remove the catheter and break my water. There was something going on with baby's heart beat so they needed to monitor her better. After he broke my water, he also inserted one of those medieval torture monitors in Phoebe's head. I know they are effective but they seem so brutal!

3:20am- Doctor left the room thinking that he had some time to rest before I needed him again during the pushing stage.

3:20am-3:51am- I had approximately 7 or 8 strong contractions that I needed to breathe through. It's interesting how each birth is different. With Lyla's birth, what helped me through the contractions was my marathon training from the previous year. I could see myself running up a hill then down that hill. I tried picturing running again this time and it was utterly useless! With each contraction, I felt myself swimming up a big Pacific Ocean wave, reaching the top, and then sliding down the back side. This picture allowed me to relax through the contraction instead of clenching each muscle in panic.

Half way through the 8th contraction, everything changed! I transitioned and needed to push right away. Seth pushed the call button for the nurse. She and a couple others rushed in. They stood at the foot of the bed waiting for the contraction to be over so they could check to see where the baby was. I rolled over, pushed again, and baby was OUT! My nurse reached out 1 hand to semi-catch Phoebe on her way out. The bed did most of the "catching".

Monday, April 26th at 3:51am- Baby Phoebe was born and was absolutely beautiful. And so loud! She was my first baby to come out pink and stay pink for a long time. I guess screaming at the top of her lungs did that for her...

3:52am- The doctor rushed into the room and apologized. He did not expect me to go from 4cm to birth in 30 minutes. Honestly no one did.

It was so cool to look back and see how the Lord worked everything out and answered my prayer for a drug-free, natural birth. If super nice nurse wasn't there, I wouldn't have been informed of the balloon procedure and would have been talked into a C-section. After Phoebe was born, the nurses told me that the on-call doctor was the only one in the hospital who would perform that procedure. Even my regular OB wouldn't have done it if he were on-call that night. Awesome!

Hi There

So, um, I'm still alive. I know it's been almost a year. But the other night I visited my old posts and decided I needed to keep this up for me. I'll be changing the layout and updating some information. New blogs, new pictures... let's get this thing rolling!

I'm Glad She's Still My Friend

She pops up randomly on Facebook and it makes me smile with tears in my eyes. She stands there so happy and brave next to her horse, Clyde. Sometimes I wonder if it's strange that she still has a Facebook account. But then I think of how devastated I would be if her account was deleted. It is a thin, tangible line that I do not want broken.

I had a dream this afternoon. In it, she and I were watching a friend's horse play and I heard her chuckle next to me. It felt so real. I woke up with that lump in the throat that you just can't swallow down.

In just a few short weeks, it will have been a year since she left us. We have passed so many milestones... birthdays, Christmas, wedding anniversaries, the birth of her sixth grandbaby, Mother's Day. Each one bringing to mind the reality that she is not here with us any longer. Grief comes in waves. Just when you feel like you are walking away, free from its grasp, grief sweeps by. Sometimes knocking you over, other times just gently splashing your ankles.

I am so thankful for the time I had with her. In the 15 years that I knew her, she became my friend, my mentor, my mom. Nearly half of my life, she was there. And now she is not. I carry on with the beautiful reality that I will see her again. My daughters who will have no earthly memory of her will have eternity to get to know her. My sons who miss her will once again experience her hugs, her laughter.

I miss you, Pam. But I am so grateful you are no longer in pain, no longer dealing with one of the most wicked diseases on our planet. I love to imagine you dancing, worshiping, painting, taking walks with your Beloved... fulfilling the deepest desires of your heart here on earth. I'll see you soon.