Deja Vu

Just a mere 18 months ago, I posted the story of my first daughter's birth. What kind of mother would I be if I didn't share my second daughter's birth story with the world? Allow me to introduce to you, Phoebe Analia Macchi...
This is how it all went down: On Sunday, April 25th at

9am- I woke up and checked my blood pressure. It was as high as it had been all week. I called the on-call doctor. He told me to make my way to the hospital. I was in the "safe zone" for delivery at 37 weeks so it was a strong possibility that I would have a baby.

3pm- My father-in-law generously offered to watch the kids while Seth and I made the trek to the hospital. I was finally packed and ready to go. Quite possibly the most relaxed about-to-give-birth journey to the hospital I had ever made. I wasn't in labor and wasn't experiencing any pain. Which was nice.

4pm- Arrived and checked in. They had a room ready for me. I think they were expecting me earlier since I did call at 9 in the morning. Answered a bazillion questions to make me an official patient.

5pm- My super nice nurse who knew my wish to have another VBAC informed me that the doctor was gearing up to have a talk with me about having a C-section. Apparently the normal ways of inducing labor (Cervadil, Pitocin, etc.) are not very safe for someone who has had a previous C-section.

6ishpm- My super nice nurse who was very pro-natural and was a cheerleader to my VBAC wish sat down next to my bed and let me in on a little "secret". She said there was a procedure that could be done on me that would safely induce my labor. Get this. It's done with a balloon! The doctor inserts a Foley catheter into the cervix and slowly inflates the balloon thus causing the cervix to open. When the cervix is dilated to a 5, the balloon automatically falls out. The doctor breaks the water and labor commences. No drugs. SO awesome. When the doctor made his appearance, I was ready to pull out this very valuable information.

7ish- Doctor finally came in. He started right away with the statistics of induced VBACS gone wrong. I listened for a while and interrupted him with "I heard there is a procedure with a balloo...". It stopped him in his tracks and before I could even get "balloon" out of my mouth, he pointed at me and said, "Yes!". Score! I even got a covert thumbs up from super nice nurse as she walked out behind the doctor.

9pm- Doctor came back in and got things rolling...

9pm-3am- There was a lot of grumpiness going on during these hours. I was hungry and could only eat ice chips. I was stuck in the hospital bed and had to stay on my left side because that kept my blood pressure down. Said higher blood pressure caused a slight, totally annoying headache. Oh and did I mention contractions? They were not very strong but I could tell they were working.

3am- I was dilated to 4 but the doctor decided to remove the catheter and break my water. There was something going on with baby's heart beat so they needed to monitor her better. After he broke my water, he also inserted one of those medieval torture monitors in Phoebe's head. I know they are effective but they seem so brutal!

3:20am- Doctor left the room thinking that he had some time to rest before I needed him again during the pushing stage.

3:20am-3:51am- I had approximately 7 or 8 strong contractions that I needed to breathe through. It's interesting how each birth is different. With Lyla's birth, what helped me through the contractions was my marathon training from the previous year. I could see myself running up a hill then down that hill. I tried picturing running again this time and it was utterly useless! With each contraction, I felt myself swimming up a big Pacific Ocean wave, reaching the top, and then sliding down the back side. This picture allowed me to relax through the contraction instead of clenching each muscle in panic.

Half way through the 8th contraction, everything changed! I transitioned and needed to push right away. Seth pushed the call button for the nurse. She and a couple others rushed in. They stood at the foot of the bed waiting for the contraction to be over so they could check to see where the baby was. I rolled over, pushed again, and baby was OUT! My nurse reached out 1 hand to semi-catch Phoebe on her way out. The bed did most of the "catching".

Monday, April 26th at 3:51am- Baby Phoebe was born and was absolutely beautiful. And so loud! She was my first baby to come out pink and stay pink for a long time. I guess screaming at the top of her lungs did that for her...

3:52am- The doctor rushed into the room and apologized. He did not expect me to go from 4cm to birth in 30 minutes. Honestly no one did.

It was so cool to look back and see how the Lord worked everything out and answered my prayer for a drug-free, natural birth. If super nice nurse wasn't there, I wouldn't have been informed of the balloon procedure and would have been talked into a C-section. After Phoebe was born, the nurses told me that the on-call doctor was the only one in the hospital who would perform that procedure. Even my regular OB wouldn't have done it if he were on-call that night. Awesome!

Hi There

So, um, I'm still alive. I know it's been almost a year. But the other night I visited my old posts and decided I needed to keep this up for me. I'll be changing the layout and updating some information. New blogs, new pictures... let's get this thing rolling!

I'm Glad She's Still My Friend

She pops up randomly on Facebook and it makes me smile with tears in my eyes. She stands there so happy and brave next to her horse, Clyde. Sometimes I wonder if it's strange that she still has a Facebook account. But then I think of how devastated I would be if her account was deleted. It is a thin, tangible line that I do not want broken.

I had a dream this afternoon. In it, she and I were watching a friend's horse play and I heard her chuckle next to me. It felt so real. I woke up with that lump in the throat that you just can't swallow down.

In just a few short weeks, it will have been a year since she left us. We have passed so many milestones... birthdays, Christmas, wedding anniversaries, the birth of her sixth grandbaby, Mother's Day. Each one bringing to mind the reality that she is not here with us any longer. Grief comes in waves. Just when you feel like you are walking away, free from its grasp, grief sweeps by. Sometimes knocking you over, other times just gently splashing your ankles.

I am so thankful for the time I had with her. In the 15 years that I knew her, she became my friend, my mentor, my mom. Nearly half of my life, she was there. And now she is not. I carry on with the beautiful reality that I will see her again. My daughters who will have no earthly memory of her will have eternity to get to know her. My sons who miss her will once again experience her hugs, her laughter.

I miss you, Pam. But I am so grateful you are no longer in pain, no longer dealing with one of the most wicked diseases on our planet. I love to imagine you dancing, worshiping, painting, taking walks with your Beloved... fulfilling the deepest desires of your heart here on earth. I'll see you soon.

All Ball

He hit the ball. Not once but twice. Bringing in a run with both of his hits. His teammates did the same for him. If you have any idea what this kid has gone through, parents desperately trying to build up his confidence, then you know this was quite the victory.

You should have seen the smile on his face.

It's All Happenin' Weekend Edition

I am in smit. In deep smit.

(Name that quote.)

Last week, J performed in his end-of-the-year program. He pretty much loved being up on that stage. Can you see him in the front? (6th from the left... just in case you need some help.)

His giggles can brighten my whole day.

This is J's 4th Birthday present that was finally delivered to our house just recently. He LOVES it. His Auntie Leya made the super awesome "Chef Josiah" apron for him. A day has not gone by without J making something from this kitchen. His specialty is soup. What can I say? The kid likes soup.

He is growing so fast. This boy has my heart.

I feel like this photo should have a formal title. Bright Future? Hey, What's That Over There? Deep Thoughts? Maybe not. It seems to have a 50's iconic look to it, doesn't it?

Scruffy Brothers.

Little Ms. Sparkle

I was 5 months old when my parents took me to get my ears pierced. I always said that if I had a little girl, I would want to get her ears pierced early on as well. So a couple of weeks ago, we trouped out on an angry, stormy night to meet our friends who wanted to do the same for their baby girl, Zaria. It was nice to have the experience of this family whose 2 older daughters have been sporting sparkly ears since infancy. Plus how could we pass up an opportunity for these 2 little girls to have to the potential life-long friendship story... "Remember when our parents took us to get our ears pierced together?". That is just irresistible! So, on with the photos...

Daddy and daughter quite wary of the gloved employee.

Moments after. Lyla's sweet little friend, Zaria, had already forgotten. Lyla decided to keep re-living the moment for a while.

Pretty little sparkly girls!

Colors

One of my favorite parts of Spring here in Kansas City is the annual tour of my father-in-law's gardens. I can count on every year seeing new splashes of color that last well into Summer. On Mother's Day, we spent some time at our parent's house and I got my tour...

Isn't my mother-in-law beautiful? We were so thankful to be able to spend  our afternoon with her.

Boys eating mint leaves.

This duck is sub-letting one of their bushes for a month or so. Yes, she built a nest right by the house and is sitting on 8 eggs, we think. What a good Mama duck to not leave her babies.

We'll Call You

J, show me your...

Sad Face.
Happy Face.
Mad Face.
Silly Face.
Surprised Face.
And Scene.

You Are Beautiful...

Dear Mom,

I understand now. I understand the need to protect them, no matter what. I understand the fear, the pain, the occasional feelings of utter exhaustion. But I also understand the determination that no matter what, we will continue to be a family. The determination that, if need be, I will be the glue that holds us together.

I feel it now. I feel the well of love that I saw in you. I write letters to them as you did. Sometimes writing it down allows for freedom to say things that just might be too difficult to say in person. 

Thank you for not only being that Mom who I am so grateful for. But for being my best friend.

I love you!

6 Months

Yes, she is. 1/2 a year old. And quite possibly the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on.

All photos taken by my new Nikon D70, care of AutoFocus =)

I Got Sunshine

Florida fits us like an old glove. Or that favorite, worn sweater. It feels good, it gives comfort in its familiarity with so many memories attached to it, but you come to the realization that you could never really wear it again. Does that make sense?

Last month, we spent 11 days visiting family and friends. We stayed in St. Augustine for a week with my side of the family and spent the rest of our time visiting Seth's Grandad and others. We had a wonderful time catching up with everyone. 

Josiah is the most affectionate little guy I know. He couldn't wait to give "Poppy" a big hug!

Grandad finally got to meet Lyla, his 5th great-grand.

Cousins on Easter Day. 

Our beach house. It was awesome. (This is my brother's fiancee, Crystal, catching up on her reading.)

What better place to have some guy talk??

Intro to Beach Life 101: Look Cute!

Yep, she passed.

Just couldn't contain the excitement!

Scuba masks help make better sand castles. You haven't heard this?

My baby boy turned 4 while we were in FL!

Party Time with Auntie Susan and the cousins. He had a great day.

Is this prophetic?? Only time will tell...

Lake Lily. So many memories: Eli learning how to walk, feeding the ducks, losing Seth's glasses in the lake. We added 1 more: 5 of us picnicking on the lake.

Cleaning House

So I have come to the conclusion that my blogging this last year has been very similar to my house cleaning philosophy. Procrastinate until I can't stand it anymore and then fly through the house, cleaning everything in sight.
I'm going to try to change this. Steady plodding is a pretty good way to go in so many areas of life. I guess it can also be applied to blogging. Keep all informed of what's going on at a steady rate instead of blasting you with waaayy too much information.
First, I shall be doing a little "catch up" this weekend. I have much to share of our last month.
Stay tuned....

The Flip Side

So, yes, I have had one of the worst weekends of my life. But I'm going to be the bigger person here and share what I have been thankful for these last few days.

Spring. It reared its shy little head last week but has been bullied back down by Winter. Bad Winter. Go home.

This man has been a saint. He took wonderful care of me. He made sure the whole house kept running. He cleaned up a couple of ungodly messes that a certain 7 year old made. He did laundry. And in the middle of all of that, he even went to the store and picked up some ice cream per his dad's request. I'm not sure how it's possible, but I think I actually fell more in love with my husband this weekend.

I had this adorable face to look at all weekend. Sure it just about killed me to not be able to kiss those irresistible cheeks, but I'll just have to make up for that this week.

Hot water bottles and warm-up puppies. Need I say more?

Our super amazing friends, Dan and Misty, dropped off a very sweet care package for our recovery. They also found very generous buyers for our Phantom tickets.

So thankful for boys who are very good at entertaining themselves. That comes in very handy when you feel like your body is going to break apart. By the way, this little man is turning 4 years old in a couple of weeks!

This poor kid went through it even more than I did. He moved down a few points on his near-perfect record of making it to the toilet every time this last week. Oh well, I guess we can't all be perfect now can we?

This is what we have to look forward to come Saturday. I need to breathe lighter, brighter air for a little while. Even if it's just for a week or so...I'll take it! 

This is what I'm mostest thankful for. Not only will we be in Orlando for a few days visiting family and friends, but we will also be spending a week in St. Augustine with my side of the family. Joy of all Joys!