Dream

Dream big. Dream bigger.

I've heard this a lot recently. I have forgotten how. My dreams consist of that first cup of coffee in the morning. The hope that my children won't throw any fits in the first five minutes of waking up. The desire to fit a workout in sometime along my day. To find that magic recipe that literally takes 5 minutes to make and requires no clean-up afterwards.

I dream for my husband. I dream that his business would suddenly take off and every step would no longer be a days-long battle. I dream that his music would be heard.

I dream for my children. I dream that they would grow up with a deep love for Jesus and a passion for helping others. I dream that they would always know who they are and walk with joy, leaving bitterness way behind.

Something needs to grab hold of me. That thing that keeps my identity in the midst of my day to day. I am who I am. Having entered my 30's, a new peace has come with this thought. After years of struggle, years of depression and self-hatred, I am free. Mostly. It's time to dream.

Dream big. Dream bigger.

How did this happen?

Just a few years ago, this Daddy was surrounded by wrestling boys. Now, he gets the job of comforting his 2 little girls when they're not quite having the best of days....

I have no desire to mislead or misinform... there is still plenty of wrestling going on in this house. Just every once in a while, you see a flash of pink in the mix.

Day of Thanks

When Elijah had just turned a year old, Seth and I decided we wanted to go away over Thanksgiving weekend. So we did. We packed up our car and drove to the mountains of North Carolina. A friend of the family let us use their cabin for a minimal amount. It was wonderful. Quiet, peaceful, just us. The 3 of us.

Last Thursday ended up being a day very similar to that one 8 years ago. It was just us. Considerably larger "us", 6 to be more specific, but it was quiet and peaceful. I cooked most of our side dishes on Wednesday so I wouldn't have to do much on Thursday. Seth brought our TV upstairs so we could watch the Macy's Day parade. First time I've ever watched the parade from beginning to end. What fun!

Then I decided to do an impromptu photo shoot of the kids. Can I just say that trying to take photos of 4 children is truly like herding cats? I don't know how professional photographers keep their cool while taking pictures of little ones. They drive me c.r.a.z.y!!

What's even going on here? Does E not like his brother sitting that close? Look at how perfectly posed J is, just knowing he's totally getting on his brother's nerves!

An elbow to the gut. That's what I wanted to take a picture of...

Lyla's already losing it. And Phoebe looks a cross between stunned and bored.

The "what did I do?" look. I see this a lot.

Ok, this just makes me giggle.

This one is normal-ish. And that's just sad.

The photographer is not very comfortable on this side of the camera. But she loves her boys. Her boys who are growing up way. too. fast!

It's the beginning of the breakdown, folks.

Aaaand we're done. Poor Daddy just wants to eat some turkey!

Speaking of, here is a lovely photo of our Thanksgiving spread. Texas corn, green bean casserole, soul sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and a brined turkey. Yeah, I'm drooling a little bit too.

My heart overflows.... (Look at Lyla. Digging right in!)

I hear crickets. Do you hear crickets? My absence from blogging has not necessarily been an intentional one. You see, I had this computer that suffered from a stroke.... paralyzed and unable to function yet still alive. It has now been replaced. Thus, the venture into more blogs!

What emphasizes the passage of time more than a picture of a growing baby?

Meet Phoebe Analia. She has rosy, apple-y cheeks that are magnets for kisses. She coos, squeals, and giggles. She loves her family. She is obsessed with her fingers.

Meet Elijah Robert. My 9 year old son. 9!! He is no longer a homeschooler but has adjusted well as a student at a small, private school just 3 minutes from our home. He is obsessed with all things Star Wars and Legos. He is a kind, gentle, compassionate oldest brother.

Meet Josiah Daniel. He is now in full day kindergarten. He is under-the-radar smart. He can pick up a book, written for children much older than himself, and just start reading. We don't quite know where he learned this from. He is sensitive, strong-willed, affectionate. He develops habits quickly and is quite dedicated to them. His newest habit? 24/7 humming. And I like it.

Meet Lyla Marie. She is now 2 years old. 2!! She is our butterfly. She flits and floats from one person to the next, making sure all is right in our world. On non-teething days, she wakes up chatting and giggling and manages to stay in this bubble of happiness all day. Teething days? Oh that's a whole 'nother story!

So, now we are caught up. You'll probably be seeing me more around these parts. Now that I have a working horse computer....

Randomocity

1. Is it bad that I am totally envying my sons' tans this summer? Remember the days when your young skin turned brown the fun way by just hours of playing outside? Now it's an ordeal: making sure there is ample sunscreen, maybe a hat, definitely checking for shaved legs...

2. Tomorrow night my husband is repaying me for the days of nursing him back to health a few weeks ago by sending me off for a night all. by. myself. I get to stay here. And I will most likely get takeout here. And I will read. Yes, read.

I am beyond excited! I did this once before years ago. It was actually a stretch for me to do this kind of thing by myself but I found it quite liberating and refreshing. I love my family with all of my heart. I am planning and praying that this one night away will help fill my well of patience. It's been running a little dry lately.

3. See this girl? These days I turn my back for a minute, nay, a second and she makes her way to something she knows she's not allowed to get into. She can drive me up the wall and make me smile in one fell swoop. That's pure talent, I tell

you! Oh and I may or may not have taught my 19 month old to say "dumb dog". There is a suspicious "du" that she says before "dog" now.

4. Our baby's new digs is our walk-in closet. Phoebe is the gruntiest of all grunty babies. Translated: she is loud when she sleeps! She's not ready to move into her sister's room yet but the girl needed her own space. That space is now our closet. And we are okay with that.

5. Have you ever gone carpet shopping? If so, then you might agree with me in this sentiment: I'd rather do this any day of the week than try to find carpet for the whole house.

6. I have been stepping out of my culinary box lately. Last night I made chicken tikka masala and the family liked it. Tonight I am attempting seared mahi mahi. I've been in quite the cooking rut for the last few months, maybe years. So here's to kitchen freedom!

Jackpot!

So I finally uploaded (or is it downloaded... I can never figure out which is which) all of my photos that I have taken on my phone for the last year. Let me tell you, the feeling is akin to finding that $20 bill in a random pocket. With your phone, there are no "photo shoots". Instead, there are random, off-the-wall pictures that feel more like daily life. Allow me to share some of these moments from the last year...

There you have it, friends. Photos of in-home date dinners, newborn niece, etc.,etc. It's like a scrapbook in my phone!

PS What's going on with the picture layout? I'm afraid to even touch it because I don't feel like uploading all these photos again. Good thing I'm not OCD ;)

Phoebe is Growin'

She's already 5 weeks old. She smiles and coos. She sleeps in her bassinet at night. She's my precious, uptight, beautiful, so-incredibly-loud, passionate Phoebe bird. I have tried to find the perfect time to do a "photo shoot" but I have to say, it does not exist. Here is today's attempt to capture my girl...

Classic Baby Toes. Miniature, Tiny Toes.

Streeeeetch it out.

Well, hi there.

She's got cheeks!

"I'll give you this one last shot, Mama"

3 minutes into our session, things turned decidedly south. Allow me to share.

And that was the end of that.

Boy...

...it's Time You Learn the Value of a Dollar

He's a workin' man now. For a whopping $1.00 a week, he helps take out the trash and takes the dog for a daily walk. He couldn't be more thrilled! It was cute and sad all at once when he started naming the things he was going to buy with his money. I'd better not spend too much time on this post or I'm going to end up giving my son a pity raise (only Mamas are allowed to give those!).

Strike a Pose

I can't help it. My camera screams at me to pick it up whenever Lyla is near a window. Can you blame me?

My sweet baby is now 18 months old. I can't begin to tell you how much fun she is! I feel so blessed to have both boys and girls because I get to observe the similarities and differences between the two. This girl can carry a doll in one hand and wrestle with her brothers with the other hand. She has her very own language. A tonal babble. The only way I can decipher what she wants is by her tone. She has recently picked up the habit of licking things. Not quite sure what's going on there. Doll eyeballs? Yes. Little sister eyeballs? Um, No. Juice cup? Yes. Carpet? Not a good idea.

On to Kindergarten!

This last week, my "little Nemo" Josiah graduated preschool. It has been so fun watching him grow and learn. Of course, most of his learning has been at home from his older brother but he did shine in class.

Here is Ms. Kim, J's teacher.

I love that Seth caught this on camera. Eli is always so proud of his siblings. And, of course, Josiah just loves to hug!

He really had so much fun up on stage!

So proud of my JJ!

Phoebe's 1st Days

Seth finally has his little twin. Can you believe how much they look alike?

Sweet oldest brother. He takes this role very seriously.

Big brother J makes sure he gives Phoebe her daily kisses.

Poor Lyla had no idea what to think when we first brought Phoebe home. You could see the utter confusion on her face. After just a few short weeks, she LOVES her "DeDe".

Papa meets Granddaughter #4

Deep down she really was excited to go home. Deep down.

Nana Time

***Not sure how wise it was to proclaim to the world the resurrection of this blog right after baby #4 was born. Seriously? It took me 5 days to finish Phoebe's birth story! So I think for the next bit, I'll blog BLITZ-STYLE. Try to get in as much as I can when I can***

Good day. I said, Good Day.